In my hundreds of thousands of flying miles, never in my life have I had such a terrible experience. I can think of some pretty shitty encounters over the years, but none that have felt so… abusive?
All started so well… I was fully packed by 7pm last night, before we took Marley to her sitter’s house. I wasn’t even sure what to do with myself last night, as my usual packing strategy is typically a last-minute scramble.
I only packed my carry-on suitcase since we had a connecting international flight.
Since we planned on mainly bumming it on the beach this trip, I didn’t need much! A sundress or two, some bathing suits, a couple pairs of shorts, and a few tees. I was pretty proud of myself for pairing down my toiletries, too… I whittled down my makeup bag to only what I’d need for a casual four days. I didn’t pack a blow dryer or any of my hair products, as I figured I’d be opting for low-key humidity-friendly hairstyles, aka: my hair would be in a low bun all week.
In my toiletry bag, I only had my two serums, a daytime moisturizer (with SPF, obvi) and a night time moisturizer. I had my deodorant, electric toothbrush, a fresh mini toothpaste, and my tongue scraper. Since I had so much extra room in the bag that’s normally packed to the brim, I tossed in my mini chafing stick and some baby powder, just in case. Since both of my mini dry shampoo sprays were nearly empty, I stuck both of them in the bag, too. There’s nothing I love more than clearing things out — in this case, my travel toiletry bin, as well as my toiletry bag on the way home. Two bottles gone, woo hoo. That’s how you know you’ll have room for a small souvenir!
You know I live for organization. Coupled with so much flying experience, I’ve had my packing preferences perfected for years. After many exploded bottles, I now know to organize my shower items in a separate little waterproof bag. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash. I put my razor handle and two new (sealed!) cartridges in there, too. Makes it easy at the hotel so I’m not digging around — I know that bag is for the shower. I can even put it *in* the shower if I wanted to. And if anything leaks, it’s super easy to wash out and it’s fully contained. I’ve had this same little Persifor bag since probably 2013. I’d give you the link, but sadly the brand retired a few years back.
Since the Caribbean was on the horizon and I take my sunscreen very seriously, I wanted to have options. I have this cute little Supergoop bag from an old collab that I packed my SPF products in. As I was packing, I realized I had a two small tubes of Matte Screen and Unseen Sunscreen that were left over from last summer. Not expired yet, I put them in the little bag, along with freshies for each. Two more bottles I’d be able to clear out on the trip!
Dave and I have had a lot of conversations about skincare as we’ve been having ‘wedding year’ talks. I’ve expressed how it’s extra important to wear sunscreen this year so his face isn’t beet red at our wedding and in the pictures we’re paying the cost of a small car for. (My friends and his are for sure laughing *out loud* right now. Dave notoriously doesn’t wear sunscreen, which you can imagine physically pains me, but I’ve made lots of strides with getting him to apply.)
I wanted him to have options of sunscreen to wear so I packed a spray, a lotion, and an oil. All travel-size, of course! I also added in a sweat-proof facial lotion that I know he will wear.
I packed everything perfectly in my carry-on suitcase, without even having to sit on it to close it like I normally do. Maybe traveling light is the way to go?!
Our alarms go off at 5am this morning and I woke up much easier than I normally do. Vacation time! My clothes and shoes (and even bra and underwear) are already laid out and ready to go.
Dave showers, I brush my teeth, and do a couple of housekeeping things around our apartment. I even have time to re-lace my new-ish shoes that feel a little tight. We order an Uber and it’s only 2 minutes away. And we’re off!
Security was a breeze and the Pre-Check line wasn’t as long as it normally is. at 5:45am, we are cruising right on through, it’s going to be a good day. Although sleepy, Dave and I were laughing and having a good time in line, and I even smiled at a girl my age and told her I liked her outfit. They opened another conveyor belt so I stepped over to that one, while Dave stayed in the original line.
I was the second one through and I saw the TSA agent really taking her time looking at the scans of what had to be my bags. The one man in front of me had already gotten his and went. I wondered if it was the new travel steamer I stuffed into my MZ Wallace bag, that I use as my personal item?? She ends up pulling my suitcase off the belt and putting it on the table behind her, but never called over for a bag check.
I wait as 10-15 more people grab their bags and go, wondering when my bag is going to actually get checked. I scan around to find Dave and mouth to him I’m waiting for my bag and I’ll be out in a sec.
The TSA agent has someone swap with her to start scanning bags and she personally takes my bag back to the screening area. She unzips my bag and is carefully looking at all of the scans above on the screen. I appreciate her attention to detail and can tell she’s wanting to make sure she’s checking the correct spot. I can see what she’s seeing… On both scans (from the top and from the side), it’s outlining the lower corner of my suitcase down near the wheels. Huh, I thought, I thought it was just shoes in that corner. I wonder what’s triggering it? Did I accidentally put a product that wasn’t 100fl ounces?? Is there something in my bag I don’t know about??
I see her pull out my little shower bag from that corner and I breathed a sighed of relief. I totally forgot that was there, but I know all of my shower items are the right size. I bet it was just my razor and it’s travel case or something. Thankfully there’s no blade on it because both new cartridges are sealed!
When she doesn’t seem to find anything that looks suspicious, se then takes out each bag from that entire zippered side of my luggage. My little sunscreen bag, my makeup bag, and my toiletry bag. “Ma’am, do you know you’re only allowed one clear bag for liquids??”
“Uhhhmm those are the toiletry bags I’ve traveled with forever?!” I instantly start to panic… I’m racking my brain and feeling so confused because I didn’t realize I was breaking any rules. No my bags aren’t clear, but they’ve never been. The only time I’ve encountered anything like that was at the airport in London. They’re notoriously SO STRICT and you pretty much just have to check your bag. IYKYK.
“That’s not what I asked, miss. Are you familiar with the 3-1-1 rule?”
“Uhhhnm yeah, I guess kind of? I normally am not traveling with an extra bag of sunscreen, but we’re going to the beach and I wanted to pack my own.”
“Well, you’re going to have to check your bag.”
“I don’t think I have time to check my bag, unfortunately.” Dave walks over at this point and I tell him that I have an extra bag of liquids and they want me to check my bag. “Miss, our flight is about to board, she can’t check her bag, could I just put it in my bag for her?!”
“Sir, I can only speak to one of you. So either you need to walk away, or she does.” Ummm, what?? He was just trying to help our situation and that actually sounds like a fantastic idea. Can we do that??
“Dave, you can go ahead and go to the gate, I’ll meet you there.” In my mind, I didn’t want Dave to get worked up with her. I thought I had it in me to be the calm one.
“No way, I’m not going to just leave you here.”
“Well, sir, you need to walk away.”
At this point another TSA gate agent walks over and I try to explain to her that I just have an extra bag of sunscreen. I could fit my shower items in my toiletry bag. I could even get rid of some of the sunscreen if I needed to consolidate into just one toiletry bag.
These two women start picking each item out of my bags. They pick out and hold up every product and start to discard each product that feels light to them… My two almost-empty dry shampoos, my deodorant that’s closer to empty than full, and my half-empty bottle of mini baby powder. I try to walk over to help figure out what *I’d* like to get rid of or was comfortable throwing away and I got yelled at to back away and not touch anything. Okayyyy, I think it’s safe to say things have escalated at this point.
I try to communicate that I’m happy to consolidate into one bag, that I do have some doubles of things, but they’re seemingly not listening to me, both just standing over my luggage with their backs to me mulling through my stuff.
I can feel myself start to panic a little at this point. Dave walks back over and tries to tell them we have a flight to catch and don’t have time to check the bag and they give me my little sunscreen bag and tell me that’s all I can fill to take on the plane.
“Are you kidding?? Can’t I just use my normal toiletry bag??? I’ve flown through this airport 1,000 times with a toiletry bag that’s actually bigger than this. This little bag is not even quart-sized.”
“It has to be a bag smaller than our hands, so this is what you have to fill.”
I definitely shouldn’t have kept talking… But I was not in my own mind. “From looking at the screen, my toiletry bags weren’t even the area in question! It was the first little bag you looked at on the bottom that had my razor in it. This is all just ridiculous!”
I’m finally able to walk over to my bag and I’m actually trembling at this point. I pick up an aluminum bottle of sunscreen and accidentally drop it on the floor I’m so flustered. As I turn to pick it up off the floor, I notice a lot of eyeballs on me and it felt like everyone in the TSA area was staring over at me. Needless to say, I can actually feel my blood pressure rising in my body.
I had one of these TSA women on each side of me digging through all of my stuff. At this point, they’ve dumped every bag into the basin of my suitcase. (Apparently it’s okay for them to double team me, just not Dave and I to talk to one of them at the same time.)
I’m trying to stuff as many toiletries as I can into this little bag, moving things in and out. I was simply trying to figure out what would and wouldn’t fit in this bag, by moving things from one bag to the other trying to make it work. Frantically, mind you. There was zero ‘cool, calm, collected’ energy that I usually try to mindfully exude. Meanwhile, the first woman is hovering over me and literally keeps pulling the sunscreen bag out of my hands once it’s full.
I exclaim, “I’m just trying to see what fits or doesn’t, could you please just give me a second before you take it!!” I’m literally shaking. My arms and hands were legitimately tremoring, my heart was racing out of my chest, I could feel my breath start to get short and my face turning hot. I could feel my emotions start to flood my head and I was trying not to cry. All while simultaneously freaking out about the cost of the things I was having to throw away, thinking about them not even recycling the products they were taking, and not having all of the things I wanted or needed on our trip.
“I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack, could you both please just back up and let me have some space to figure this out.” I don’t know what I actually said, I know I was word vomiting and probably not even making sense, but I was trying to explain that I was not okay and just needed a second to calm down. (Editors Note: she was already having a panic attack.)
“We were trying to help you, but now that you’re being rude, we’re not going to help you out.” Apparently they were going to let me keep my nearly empty products out of the tiny bag, but now they weren’t?? It was all very confusing.
So these two women told me I had to fit all of the toiletries I wanted to bring in the single tiny bag that my sunscreen was originally stored in. Couldn’t I use the Perisfor shower bag that I’ve been traveling with for the last decade?? No, it was too big for their ‘quart-sized’ rule. They told me my toiletry bag had to be smaller than their palm.
In hindsight, I‘m sure I could have further pared down and made some tough decisions about what to throw away or take with me. But my brain was at a blackout at that point… I honestly barely even know what I got to keep or throw away? I know I sacrificed all of my shower supplies to keep my two expensive serums. And I’m fairly certain I had to give them every single sunscreen I had, which was probably ~$300 of Supergoop products.
Once I was finally able to walk away, I couldn’t stop crying. The floodgates had officially opened.
Embarrassed that I was sobbing in the airport. So mad about the entire situation and how unfair and bizarre it all felt. Upset that I feel like I was being bullied by these two women. Disappointed our trip we had been waiting and wishing for was starting on such an absolutely awful note.
I’m sure some of it was hormones, too, as I had just started my period the night before. Epic timing with our trip, right? 🙄 I’m sure it was the stress of wedding things that had delayed it over a week.
I could have also been more panic-prone this morning because I messed up my anti-depressant schedule last weekend and accidentally missed a few doses.
And I’m sure running on less than 5 hours of sleep wasn’t doing me any favors, either.
But for all of those reasons and more, I could. not. stop. crying. Dave and I stopped to the side of the terminal and I was sobbing on his shoulder. Finally at our gate and waiting to board the plane, still sobbing. Boarding the plane, tears streaming down my face. Sitting in my seat, crying again.
I was upset that I was upset. I was so worked up that I knew I wouldn’t be able to get any of the work done that I needed to do. Spoiler alert: Creativity doesn’t flow for me while I’m emotionally flooded.
I was ashamed that I handled myself poorly. Next time, I will lead with smiles, submission, and apologies. Even if it’s f*cking ridiculous.
I kept crying as I started to think about how unfair life is for people and groups that are actually oppressed, which made me cry even more. I felt so dumb for being the worked up white girl in the security line.
Tears kept flowing as I recalled the entire encounter in my mind and wished I could have done things differently. If I was thinking clearly, maybe I could have hatched a plan and acted like I was going out to check my bag and then gone through another security checkpoint where I’m sure there wouldn’t have been an issue. I wish I would have been able to remain more calm and maybe there’s something I could have said or done differently from the start.
Ugh, hindsight is always 20/20 and there’s nothing I can do about any of it now. So I took out my phone on this flight and started to type. Journaling is cathartic for me and after writing all of this out over the last two hours, I’ve finally stopped crying.
There’s no sense in crying over spilled milk, they say. But what’s rule on expensive sunscreen, serums, and skincare?
Woman!!! File a complaint for TSA are not high end security and they do reply. I have filed a complaint before when a male TSA kept touching my shoulder. Stop apologizing. And tweet or share this and tag TSA, the airport location. As well as the airline. It’ll be seen
Girl, this happened to me flying out of the Atlanta airport a couple of months ago — they legit started SCREAMING at me for putting my shoes in the wrong bin (even though they told me to put them in that particular bin, but then immediately recanted what they said…I was so confused lol). I also just immediately broke down into tears; I was also like 3 months postpartum after having a baby, so total emotional overload like you were describing. Anyway, don’t feel ashamed at all — having people treat you that way over something like sunscreen is just honestly disrespectful and unacceptable. You should 100% file a complaint. I am so sorry that this happened to you! I hope you can at least relax and enjoy the rest of your trip! <3